Thursday, September 1, 2016

Most Popular Current List of Exotic Excuses

Dear Readers,

All of us went through schooling. All of us (except most sincere among us) sometimes wore un-ironed uniform, sometimes did not do home work and sometimes went to school late or remained absent for one or two day.

Also, almost all of us had a standard list of excuses like for not so good uniform,  sir (or madam as the case may be) The Dhobi did not come yesterday, uniform did not dry till night, etc. For not doing homework first is I forgot to do it, my notebook went missing, my friend took it and did not return and finally I did it but forgot the notebook home (if one has good reputation with the teacher, this formula always worked, any doubts? For me it worked for almost all classes from the time I became wise).

There were (and still are, may be better ones from modern generation) similar excuses for various other infringements that we did in school. Those were our young days and offering excuses was our (at least of lazy and naughty children) birth right.

While the trend at schools may be continuing but the people giving excuses are children and they can be excused. But giving excuses from a standardized list of excuses (and I am not sure if the list has been authorized by government) and upgrading them with each passing day by adults is now a fine art and the practitioners are many.

Some follow a standard one item list. Whatever happens, he has only one excuse. I was wondering how come during deluge at NCR and for transgression by his party member he forgot to use his item no 1 (and only there is one item in the list) of excuse list to give excuse. Else like a parrot repeating just one line, he also repeats just one line.

For one person (have serious doubt if gentleman is appropriate uses or not) a heinous act by some non-men (real men just can not do it and eunuch are not capable of doing it)  on hapless women is not a crime to be investigated (though he had a change of heart and said it must be investigated) but a political conspiracy.

Other list of Standard Excuses is as follows (to be utilized when a FIR is filed for corruption  or a CD of sting or a objectionable CD of that individual is found or he is arrested for braking public order):-

1   The allegation is false.

2   The CD is doctored.

3   It is not me in the CD.

4    It is a political conspiracy to spoil my reputation.

5  I am being Fixed.

6 I belong to D----, M-----, O------ or So and So Community hence I am being targeted.

7  It was a donation for ----fund not a bribe.

8   and finally I am innocent and time will prove it (with a good track record of cases going to logical conclusion may be by next birth).

Well I don't claim sole intellectual right on this matter, hence there may be some more items which can find their place in this list. All that I would like to say is the nation is progressing. Whether any thing else (including charging socket of mobiles) would be standardized or not at least we have achieved standardization in this matter. Some achievement and it gives us hope that routine things like Height of railway platform or gap between the railway coach and platform, mobile charging pin on mobiles, etc may be standardized in future.

However, the sequence of uses of the excuses is yet to be standardized.


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