A pet (dog) at home is a trouble. Or is it?

A child is someone who very naturally fond of companionship. That is why children are very fond of Pets, particularly Dogs, I see many children playing with and feeding the Street dogs in my locality. These dogs also are attached to these children and come running from where ever they are, tail wagging,  the moment they see these children.

Why is this relationship? Most likely because the child has been pestering the Parents to get a dog at home and parents have refused because either one or both of them don't like the pets at home or the fear of increased responsibility and commitment which reduces there mobility.

The Parents are right to some extent. We have had our pet (dog) second time now. Both times it was our son who picked up the Dog (first time he was hardly 8 years old) with a promise to do all the tasks related to the dog, but the promise was extremely shortlived and the Dog lived fairly reasonably long life.

It obviously meant that the care for the dog became our responsibility from the time they arrived at home. When the second time Dog was taken in, our son had become an adult and hence some days when we forced him, he would take the dog out for a walk or give him Bath.

Let it be clear if you do pick up a pet dog because your son/daughter pesters you and you finally agree, the responsibility of the dog is going to rest with you. Worst still, if your pestering child is either about to finish the education or already working, he/she may just leave for another place but the pet would still be with you. It is important to take a pet (including a dog) only when the whole family agrees to get a pet otherwise don't risk that soul's life by getting him/her at home and then making that pet suffer.

Serious responsibility comes onto you when a pet is brought home. But if responsibility is not a burden, the pet at home is a sheer pleasure. They are the best companions that one can have, a dog in particular. Whether there are people at home or you are alone, the dog keeps the home alive and you have the guaranteed company at all time.

They will be with you. They will force you out of the bed. They will make you play with them and they would be so alert that a footstep outside your door would get an instant response by way of loud Bark. Whether an adult or a child or an elderly, with a pet in general and a dog in particular, would never be alone. For a parent whose child is alone at home but the home has a dog, there would be no worry about the safety of the child and the security of the household. As long as the dog is there, no one would dare to look at your house with a not so good intention.

Even when alone, your day will have activities related to your pet. Feeding the pet, tending to the pet, playing with the pet, enjoying moods and the antics of your pet, particularly dogs, are all fun. They provide essential companionship without demanding much from you except for some love and attention and a little bit of food.

Pets also have therapeutic value. They uplift your mood, they help the Spastic children to improve, they help sick recover faster and there are many such documented research indicating various other therapeutic effects of the pets. Not to forget "Seeing Eye Dogs" who assist blind to navigate (I am not sure if Seeing Eye Dogs are available in India) and in many cases, they have saved lives of the Blind by stopping them from falling into Lift Shaft/ditches.

Having a pet, a living being, in the household does impose some limitations but what ones get in return from that pet is more than the trouble we have to take. If the people of the house have to go out, there are Kennels for dogs (not sure if a similar facility exists for other pets like Cats, Parrots, etc). Recently we did a long trip by boarding our dog, a bundle of Energy called Cookie, in a Kennel.

Therefore, in a reluctant household having a pet is a trouble (actually they are the ones not cared for in such a household) but in a willing household, a pet or pets are definitely not a trouble but a gift of God.

Dedicated to our first pet, a lovely Show Stopper German Shephard, Donna.

Hindus Worship only one God. To know more, read on.

Hello.

 Before I start this blog post, let me clarify two things.

 

1.   This is about the reasons that make me feel lucky to be a Hindu.

2.   My blog will be limited to talking about Hindus and the Hindu religion (way of Life) as I am one of them and would not even touch any other religion. If one is looking for comparison or criticism of Hindu or other religions, then this is not the place

 Now the Blog.

         Once I was asked by someone (a Hindu) staying in a Gulf country that whenever religion comes up for discussion, all others following different religions tease that person for being a Hindu and worshipping 33 Koti (taken as Crores but actually means types) gods while they have everything fixed, one god, one prophet, etc. That person told me that one is answerless because what they say seems correct.

         That got me thinking about this topic. Is it so? What do I get being a Hindu that others don’t get? It dawned on me that there is just Nothing that should make a Hindu apologetic about being a Hindu. This is what (given in the next few paragraphs) I told that person.

          It is not difficult to answer people not following Hinduism, when they criticise a Hindu, jokingly or seriously about the Hindu way of worship. In fact, there is so much that one gets being a Hindu, which others don’t get. In a short span of thinking spree, I could count a series of benefits of being a Hindu. With my thought process at full speed, I explained my thoughts to that person who felt satisfied and empowered to answer people who teased him/her for being Hindu.

          Hindus do believe in only one god, called Brahmana or Paramatma who is symbolised in the sound of “Om”. We also believe that the Supreme Being is present in all of us because the supreme god, Brahmana, is the Supreme Soul, and we all are part of it, as it is said, “Aham Brahmasmi”. It does not mean “I am a god” rather, it means “I am part of Brahmana i.e., I am a soul or Spirit,” or in other words, I am one with the Supreme Soul as I am a miniature part of that Very Soul. It is a different thing altogether that they may worship the Parmatma in  its various forms depending on their individual choice.

          Later on, I did some research to reconfirm that Hinduism believes in only One God, Next two paragraphs were not part of the original discussion. They are part of the research that I carried out.

       That Hindus have one ultimate god is a fact that is reiterated umpteen times in our most sacred texts. Let me quote a few here. 

       Chandogya Upanishad (छान्दोग्योपनिषत्)  6:2:1 states "Ekamevadvitiyam" which means "He is only One without a second" and this is just a part of the Shlok, balance of which reads सदेव सोम्येदमग्र आसीदेकमेवाद्वितीयम् । तद्धैक आहुरसदेवेदमग्र आसीदेकमेवाद्वितीयं तस्मादसतः सज्जायत.

Loosely translated, it reads "Before, O child, this was a mere state of being (sat), one only, without a second. Thereof verily others say: 'Before this was non-being, one alone, without a second; from that non-being proceeds the state of being.’

          Let me also quote from the First Veda, Rigveda, whose chapter 1:164 Shlok 46 states that “they call him Indra, Mitra, Varuna, Agni, and he is heavenly nobly-winged Garutman. To what is One, sages give many a title they call it Agni, Yama, Matarisvan (एकं सद्विप्रा बहुधा वदन्ति).”

         Having read all that has been mentioned in previous paragraphs, a very logical question can arise. The question is, if that is so, why do we have so many Devis and Devatas? To begin with, one must remember that word called GOD in the English language is very much the Trinity concept of Hinduism of Bramha (Generation of Life), Vishnu (the Operators or the one who Sustains the world) and Mahesh (The Destructor of the world) therefore, GOD in that context is also a combination of three sub-powers and not just one single entity.

        I very light-heartedly feel that outsourcing as a concept is as old as Hinduism and its philosophy. The Brahmana or Supreme Spirit has assigned (outsourced) the task of management of the universe, namely creating, sustaining, and ending life to his three main elements, Brahma, Vishnu, and Mahesh. Since they are the direct representatives of the Supreme Spirit, in general, most Hindus worship the Supreme Spirit as either Brahma, Vishnu, or Mahesh, mostly the last two.

        Then why do we still have 33 types of Devi and Devitas? Let us take an example. Like the supreme being, the Parmatma or Brahmana, knowledge is also one, but does that mean we should, all our life, read or study just one book to know everything? A library represents Knowledge in miniature form. It holds supreme knowledge within its four walls; however, not everyone who enters the library does read a particular book to gain knowledge on various subjects.

        When in a library, a person chooses a section where books on a subject that he likes or wishes to read and picks those selected books of that subject which interest him or meet his aspirations. That means while knowledge may be one, it has multiple forms by way of myriad subjects, and a person studies that part of knowledge that interests him or her, as mentioned above.

        Does a student seeking knowledge read an all-pervasive book, irrespective of the field of their study? A science student reads books on his subject, and a commerce student reads books on accounting, etc. Both of them have the same aim: to acquire knowledge, not just any knowledge, but knowledge that they prefer, of the relevant field of interest.

       In Hinduism, the concept of worship is very similar to the above example of a Library. We worship that form of Paramatama or Brahmana which suits our needs in life. We as Hindus, using the choice Hinduism grants to us, may worship any form of the Parmatma, in any which manner we want, at any time of the day, and at any place we want. Furthermore, we Hindus have been provided absolute freedom in our religion to worship whoever we want, including any form of Parmatma that fulfils our spiritual needs. There are no compulsions in Hinduism.

        As a Hindu, if one is interested in bodily strength and physical power, that person prays to god using the form of Lord Hanuman. Someone who wants mental or inner power prays to the god using one of the Avatars of Shakti. If wisdom is what is desired, then the chosen form of god to pray is Maa Saraswati. Essentially, Hindus worship and pray to the same God, Brahmana or Parmatma, but the form of god that is to be worshipped varies, depending on an individual’s basic interest and objective, and of course, individual's choice. Remember, there are no compulsions in Hinduism.

         Hinduism provides us almost as many forms of "the God Almighty" (the only one, Ishwar or Parmatma) as there may be individual interests. That helps us to pray to God through the form that one visualizes and that meets his / her aspirations. After all, god for us is one of us. We communicate with him directly and not through any mediator. Tumhi ho Mata, Pita Tumhi ho, Tumhi ho Bamdhu, Sakha Tumhi Ho (You (the God) are my mother, my father, my brother and my friend, oh God you are one of us, within us)

       We Hindus don't need a mediator. For a Hindu, an Avatar is not a mediator. By way of an Avatar, God descends on this Earth for a specific purpose and returns back from this Earth when that purpose is accomplished. 

        Srimad Bhagwat Gita states this beautifully in Chapter 4 and I quote, “यदा यदा हि धर्मस्य ग्लानिर्भवति भारत। अभ्युत्थानमधर्मस्य तदात्मानं सृजाम्यहम् ॥Chapter 4 - Verse 7॥ परित्राणाय साधूनां विनाशाय च दुष्कृताम् । धर्मसंस्थापनार्थाय सम्भवामि युगे युगे ॥Chapter 4- verse 8॥“. Its  meaning is, “Whenever there is decay of righteousness, O Bharata, And there is exaltation of unrighteousness, then I Myself come forth ; For the protection of the good, for the destruction of evildoers, For the sake of firmly establishing righteousness, I am born from age to age.”

        The form that we choose to worship and through whom our prayers are channelized to the Paramatma helps us in the pursuit of our interests. It could be an Avtar or a Devi or Devata. We, as Hindus, too believe in one ultimate God, Brahmana or Parmatma but we have our unique way of reaching him through the path that we like to take. This understanding really empowers us to answer various questions of those who do not follow our faith or way of life.

        All this research made me feel very lucky to be what I am, a Hindu. I enjoy the freedom; my direct connection with my God is my personal bond with him/her. He is not someone looking over my shoulders and saying, “Now that he is committing this sin, it’s my chance to punish him.” After all, the job of giving punishment does not belong to my Bandhu and Sakha. 

       I do not hate other people worshipping in a different manner, or other ways of worship, as my religion has never claimed to be supreme or the only religion which alone can give you salvation. Hinduism, in fact, states that there are various ways of (worship) seeking the ultimate truth, the Almighty God, and all of them are equal. It is a different story that such magnanimity may not be shown by others following non-Hindu ways of worship.

         For me, a Hindu, God is not sitting in some exalted domain; my god is within me. I can question my god (or God’s whichever form I like) and ask him, Are you a Nirgun (formless, ever-present god) or Sagun (in a body or flesh, i.e, in some form like a devi or whatever) without any guilt. Questioning my beloved God in whichever form I like and seeking answers is very much part of the religion that I follow. That is because God for me is not beyond question. Why is it so? See below in the next paragraph.

         God, in my way of worship, is a mother or a father or a brother or a sakha (friend) i.e. he or she is what I want him or her to be. The god, in whichever of his avatars I choose, is one among us. He is our guide and friend who motivates us to do good all the time. 

         I am sure no one is looking over my shoulders to see, "ok, this guy is doing some sin, and now I have to punish him". In my (Hindu) way of worship, god is here to help me and not to punish me for my so-called sins, that job is left to my Karma, my running account of deeds that I did in past births, and I am doing in this birth and irrespective of which page (birth) in the ledger I am at, the account keeps running (as I have stated earlier) with the trial balance taken at end of each page (life).

         Karma (or Chitra Gupta as god’s accountant of Karma) maintains a running account of my good deeds and also not-so-good deeds and keeps paying me the principal along with the interest as per the balance sheet of all the good and not-so-good deeds in one or the other Janma or reincarnation (hence the rebirth). I, therefore, have hope that I have a series of Janmas (lives or Births) in years to come, and one day, when my good balance becomes supreme, I shall automatically attain Nirvana. Salvation to me, a Hindu, is not an external function. For me, it's an internal function, of my own doing, based on my own Karma, the good deeds that I do lead me to salvation.

         My religion tells me, as long as one devotes him/herself to what one's "Dharma" is, that person will achieve nirvana. Not only that, my religion bestows upon me various methods to follow for worshipping God Almighty. I can do Karma yoga if that suits me (the lord Krishna way, something that I practised all my life) or I can do Bhakti Yoga in line with a series of Saints and sages.

         I can pray to god in Nirgun form or Sagun form. I can pray at the time of my choosing or just remember him in my mind without any outward expression. As a Hindu, the form of Prayer and the form of god through whom I want to pray to is of my choosing and not handed down to me as the only choice. Place of Prayer, Time of prayer, style of prayer and even to pray or not to pray are of my own choosing.

         The concept of rebirth and the thought (and not the fear) of accounting for my own deeds helps me make a better choice of deeds that I do, like not troubling any form of life, helping people, etc.

        As a follower of Hinduism, I am told that every way of worship deserves equal respect from me. My religion also tells me that for self-defence, defence of women, children and the weak, irrespective of whichever profession I follow, I can pick up a weapon of my choice.

        That means I may be soft-spoken and conscious of others’ feelings, but if someone takes me for granted, or troubles me, my family, my neighbours or my society, I shall and I am duty bound to resist orally, physically and if need be, by using suitable weapons. I am also taught the basic rule of "No first use" but if the time comes, use it to the full impact using the right to second strike.

       Sant Tukaram once very famously said the following, hat we all MUST remember -

"Bhale Tari Deu Kasechi Langoti | Nathalache Matha Deu Kathi || MayBapahuni Bahu Mayavant | Karu Ghaatpat Shatruhuni ||?

       It means that if the person is good then we will offer him even the clothes that we are wearing. If the person is evil, we will hit his head with a stick. We are more caring than our parents, but to those with evil intentions, we can be more disastrous than his enemies.

         Finally, my religion has introduced me to this beautiful world and everything that is in it; it has told me by way of various stories of mythology, etc, the moral values, compassion towards everything that exists in this world, and to be of value to everyone who depends on me in any which way.

         I feel pleased and proud when I think of all those things that I get just for being a follower of Hinduism, and though it may not be in my hands to choose, but if given a choice, I would love to be born a Hindu all over again.

        Lokarpanmastu (dedicated to the people)

 

 

India Post - nostalgia that it is

When we talk of India Post, first image that comes to our mind is that humble foot borne or cycle borne lovable figure (seen ourselves in our villages or shown in the movies) in his (those days there were only males in that job) Khaki uniform, lovingly (and also by his designation in the department) called "Postman"

Here was this character, who was lifeline to families of Soldiers posted to remote, unknown and unheard of places, Old parents whose children were working somewhere else in India, newly wed Brides who could spent barely few days with their husbands because he had to leave in search of a job, relatives who are anxious about the health of their near and dear ones in some other place and the list is endless.

There were others who were waiting for some one to tell them the news around their town, some waited for him to readout news paper for them (may be the postman was the only one who could read and write), some waited to ask the postman to write a reply to their son, husband, brother and who else for the letter they received some days ago (which also was delivered and read out by the same man).

People in the countryside might have waited for the Monsoon rain to arrive once in a year but they all waited for this vital character and a reliable one, their Postman, daily, for all 365 days (excepting Sundays).

The feeling in the town and cities has not been very different. Many a people achieved great sanctification when they sent a Money Order (New generation may not know about it and it might have been discontinued) back home and got the receipt as also letters written on a five paisa Post Card (Another thing along with Inland letter which young generation may not know) to inform them as to how they derived happiness by that meager money that was sent through Money Order.

The reliability and religiosity (Treating this job as a religion) in executing the task of delivering mail to people were (and even todate are) the hallmarks of India Post. Way back, when I was doing my BE at Bilaspur in MP (Now in CG), I have received letters where the address was just Harshad Datar, Bilaspur. It must be remembered that even those days Bilaspur was a big city.

When I asked the postman as to how such letters reach me, he explained that there are limited delivery zones in a city (Bilaspur had two, Rly Zone and CIty Zone). When a letter is received with incomplete address, all the postmen of the zone are asked if they have a person of that name in their beat. If the answer from one of the postman is yes, the letter is given to him. If the answer is no, the letter is transferred to another zone where this process is repeated. SOme postman in some zone recollects the name and delivers the letter, How wonderful.

Yet another time a letter posted by me with incomplete address (with out house no and lane no, left blank by mistake) for a Bandra East resident was still delivered. All this for a meager cost of two rupees (that w as the required postage for an envelop those days).

 Another great thing was, if any of the letter posted had less amount stamps then required, then it was termed Postage Due letter (and stamped accordingly) and was definitely delivered. The due amount was collected from the receiver. Such letters were termed "Berang" in Hindi. Knowing this habit or procedure of India Post, many a businesses intentionally posted their letters "Berang" i.e. with less postage stamps than required,, knowing fully well that due to postal procedures those letters would be definitely delivered.

There were some wonder employees of Posts. When I was at Defence Services Staff College, Wellington, Ooty, we had a postman, if I remember his name correctly, called Ranga. Every year about 400 hundred officers used to join. Each was allocated a locker number and within few days, Ranga knew each officer, his name and locker Number (all mail was delivered into the lockers). He did this years after years. I am not sure if he is still around, but this humble postman received praise and high respect from each of the officer attending staff course. Similar was the story in many bases where looking at your face the Postman would tell you if there is a letter for you or not.

Post Offices were old, dusty, run down, ramshackle but the service that they provided were first class, personalized, always delivered with smile and at very meager cost. They were just superb. The Nostalgia of the Post Office and its simple, sincere and  humble postmen who toiled each day serving all, rich and poor alike. Even other things like Post Office Saving Scheme were wonderful. Some poor people new only Post Office Saving Scheme as their first and mostly last bank.

Today post offices have somewhat modernized. Importance of the Snail Mail has diminished (not gone away), personal touch of postman (at least in big cities) is also somewhat reduced but India Post Nostalgia lingers on. What an Nostalgia India Post was an it continues to be.

May "Parmatma, Supreme Being" bless all those wonderful India Post Staffers who brought solace and happiness to millions, who shared peoples grief and consoled them, who were the hopes of millions and their only medium to be in touch with their near and dear ones who were far away for various reasons.

I love India Post and may they flourish with each passing day.

Life Post Retirement - Dilemma or Delight?

Let me start with a fact. All insurance companies have been advertising about investing and reaping benefits so that one can "Retire Early". They are enticing young professionals to earn enough and retire early to enjoy retired life.

Here I am. Superannuated from the Navy at the age of 56 (as retirement age is governed by rank held at the time of retirement). Going by insurance firms and their advertisement pitch, a late retiree, as their tag line is retire as early as possible to enjoy life (and the corollary is, till you retire, slog like a donkey to earn, a very stupid idea, why wait till retirement, life must be enjoyed "Every Day" till it lasts).

After over a 33 and half years wonderful affair with the IN, post retirement, I have no plans to WORK, at least in conventional sense of a 9 to 5 job. However, everyday, when I am enjoying watching TV, Long walks, Chatting with my life partner, trying to cook new dishes, meeting people, etc, I face a dilemma. The dilemma is, am I doing the right thing by not working 9 to %. To put it in my wife's words, you still have four more productive years when you can work.

I tend to agree and also disagree with her. I do face this question that by just being home and doing nothing I am wasting some useful time of life? But on the re=look on this thought I feel, if one has secure finances (though it may be a fallacy to say that finances are secured, unless invested wisely and the economic situation is stable, finances are not secured), near settled Children (at least they are done with their studies and are working) and no liabilities, should one work and by doing so, block a young man's (or woman's) chance and aspirations to do well in life.

Depending on the circumstances (also financial condition and family obligations still pending) at the time of retirement, some may face the dilemma as to what to do post  retirement. They may desperately need to look for a job. But my view is, if one does not have financial constraints, Family Obligation and liabilities and whose children are settled in life (or near settled), a delightful retired life with enjoyment of life being the end use of so much spare time is the way to go. That is what I term Delightful retirement without any dilemma.

But if one is not intellectually busy and physically active, established research indicates that such retiree's life spam is reduced drastically. How to counter that while enjoying the retirement? To me, best way is to take to Teaching at whatever level, even voluntarily and even without remuneration (if that be so). In the worst case scenario, just putting a black board (or white board) in the nearest " Jopadpatti" and teaching the children there also is a good option.

Retirement is a dilemma for few based on circumstances, but in most cases, not being greedy, being contained and being blissfully engaged in the pursuit of happiness is that delightful retirement that one seeks.

Happy Retired Life.

How not to Worry about Worry

It may sound very unusual title but I mean it. I also know whatever I write, those who tend to worry will worry and those who don't wouldn't. But then the next question is, why do I put in efforts to write when either way it's not going to work because to worry or not to worry is more to do with individual nature which is difficult (and not impossible) to change. 

The answer also is contained in what i stated earlier, individual nature. What then makes me to write about How to not to worry about worry? I being an optimist by nature, its for me to try without worrying about the outcome (see, I have put the "Bhagwat Gita" teaching into use).

I also know that whatever I am going to write is not new and every one (almost) possibly knows about it. But what I am doing is akin to research, representing the facts and thoughts in a new (So do I think) manner. May be, someone same day would actually stop worrying after reading my pearls of wisdom.

Let me start.

 Life is full of uncertainties and that is the main cause of worry. It is also a fact that all human beings worry all the time. The question is, why some people look to be in total control of themselves while some others look perpetually worried. Everyone has worries, then how is it that some are able to bottle up the worries and keep them aside while others get almost crippled leading to inaction due to excessive worrying.

This major difference is because of individual nature but more than that, those who contain their worries have learned the art of overcoming the fear of uncertainty. Rather then procrastinating, they resort to acting on the worry to resolve it or if action is not feasible at that moment or if there seem to be no solution to that worry at that point in time they keep the worry aside. 

On the other hand, those who worry all the time, despite the fact that they know the futility of those worries, get overcome by worries. They, rather then acting on the things that need to get done to get over those worries (or just keeping them aside if there is no immediate solution available), become frozen in those worries thereby losing the capacity to act. Just like Arjun was in the opening situation of Mahabharata war, only problem is, Arjun had Lord Krishna to enlighten him about importance of Action over Procrastination while we have none.

The question is, where is the solution? The solution lies in training the Mind. Changing one's nature is difficult but it is very much doable. I speak from my own experience. I used to be such an angry young child till one day the futility of this angry nature donned on me. The moment futility was understood, nature changed to an extent that one day after I got married, my "better half"  asked me, don't you ever get angry. That "the individual nature" can be modified is hence proved.

The first thing to do is understand that worry is generally associated with those thoughts where it is evident that the individual has no control or little control over the circumstances around it while the outcome is important. Some people may, though, have a sheer habit of worrying (even when a simple action would resolve the worry) like people who have "Compulsive Obsessive Disorder".

However, sometimes the individual has the capability to act to sort out the worries but does not know or intentionally decides to procrastinate and worry. Worry clouds your judgement and ability to take risk and therefore earlier one learns to either act on them or just put them out of their mind in an imaginary locker till they get time, energy and motivation to deal with it.

everyone worries but those who learn to get over the worries or has ability to keep them aside lives a peaceful and fruitful life, for rest, worry is there to give them company. Why keep this bad company.

Never Miss a Chance to Enjoy Life till it Lasts.

One of my friend's Anniversary is today. His wife has sadly departed for heavenly abode some time back. Thinking that he may not like to be wished on his anniversary. However, when he reminded us of it by a post in our whats app group we wished both of them, he in person and her in metaphor. That got my thoughts rolling.

Life is but this moment that we have because next moment is not guaranteed to anyone of us. There are enough of misunderstandings, egos and what not between people, may it be between Parents and children, may it be between siblings or between friends or between Husband and wife. Let that be.

However, with the life being so short (and get cut further short sometimes due to illness and other factors) why give credence to all the problems among us. Let us change a bit. Let the differences remain (if they can not be reconciled) but remember those people (and we too) are going away permanently later (or sooner in some case).

If they are loved ones, whatever may the difference, don't let go of them. Mend fences with them, overlook imperfections, reconcile with the situation but do stay connected. Why, because, when one leaves for another world, there no communication lines between these two worlds nor that place is connected over, 2G,4G or internet.

When there is actually very little time to love and admire them, where is time to grudge or hate a loved one. Think about it before it is too late and we have no means of telling such people how much we loved them

Let us Make a BEGINING.

Infertility - A serious Human Issue and Some one writes about it.

There is very famous "Kahawat" (Saying) in Hindi, "Jake Panv Na Phati Bivai, Vah Kya Jane Pir Parai" - Here is the loosely reconstructed English version of it - The one who )does not have cracked heels) has never suffered not empathise with others (would never understand the sufferings of others).

Many a time from my childhood, I was witness to some ladies being chided by (surprisingly) other ladies (who I thought would understand the pain that they would suffer because of this stupid act) as "Banz" or a lady who has not produced a offspring. When such a lady was publically insulted, no regard was paid as to what exactly is the problem and who has or where is the shortcoming. After all, reproduction needs both partners to be healthy and having no medical issues, however, the blame always was placed on the lady and her own peers never let go any chance of insulting her.

However, except for having this simple knowledge that some ladies do not have any children of their own and that there may be many reasons for infertility, I had no knowledge about this matter. Since I have been a HR man for many years, I became aware of the human suffering and cost of this stigma, efforts that such couples put in to get over including very long drawn IVF treatments.

It is by chance that I landed up at the blog of Dr Amit Praksah on this serious issue. He has written a very informative post. This post has the potential to give hope to couples who have been suffering physically, psychologically and socially because of this (unwarranted) stigma.

The post is Titled - "A step towards making #Infertility Not A Taboo" and it can be accessed at http://nerdyindian.blogspot.in/2016/10/a-step-towards-making.html.

Do read and spread a word. We just don't know who will come out of the suffering by getting this information.

Fitness after 50 - My take.

Recently one of my college friend suggested my name on our class whatsapp group to give tips on fitness, possibly because my photos look still the same as they looked during college except some  signs of age on the face and the runway in lieu of hair on my head.

I got me thinking, should I write something on this matter or should I not? Looking back, I thought with a healthy life at over 50, may be I am fit enough to write about fitness though I have no official training on the matter nor I am a doctor. Rather I am not a doctor of living beings cuz Engineers are the doctors of the equipment under them. Each one of the equipment has a personality and a character (any body who disagrees with me can put a comment and I would provide my views) but no life.

Enough of the prologue, let me start.

It is known that millions of cells of human body die and millions of cells are born every day and it is said that the body is fully renewed in 12 years. Thus we acquire a new 'Kaya' every 12 years. That means by the time we are 48, we have progressed through four kayas. That apart, just because we acquire new kaya does not mean we acquire same strength or flexibility as we had as a child or a young person. What we have at or after 50 is a body that does not have same strength, flexibility or vigour of a 25 or 30 or 35 years old.

So is all lost? Not really, what I am pointing out is actually other way round, that the time has come to not to abuse our body but to respect it and worship it as it needs to sustain your soul for many years to come and we need to nurture it.

What is needed to achieve that, a healthy body and mind. It is very simple and easy to achieve. All we need to do is maintain regular lifestyle, moderation in whatever one does (occasional excess may be ok but only occasional) and some steady and regular exercise. Let me list down all of these steps.

1.    Sleep on time on most days of the week.May be 1100 PM or even early.

2.    Get up around 0600 hrs, again on most of the days in a week.

3.     Start your day with drinking at least Two glass fresh water (at normal temp or slightly warm) empty stomach daily on all days of the week.

4.    Do at least 30 to 45 minutes  of exercise daily, at least 5 days a week. Walking, Cycling, jogging, swimming or even Gym is good. You can alternate in a sequence so that monotony can be avoided.
Workout in Gym to improve muscle tone after the age of 50 is a must. It is said that only these few years you can improve your muscles beyond which it is not possible. Let me tell the readers, muscles are vital for old age to support your bone structure and if not built up now, the they can't be built later.

5. Even Surya Namaskar, Yoga, Pranayam and Dhyan (meditation) are a good substitute on few days in a week in the morning.

6.  Have a good breakfast of whatever you like but do not overeat and also cut down on butter, oil and ghee in the breakfast. Some milk with breakfast is good but may not be good for diabetic. Our paranthas with limited oil are actually better than bread.

7.  Have some light snacks or fruit between breakfast and lunch.

8.  Have healthy lunch which must have buttermilk (Chas), some Salad and normal food. Again no over eating. What quantity one ate before the age of 50 is not one needs to eat now unless our work is highly physical and strenuous (physically and not chair bound and strenuous mentally). Minor reduction of one roti or some rice is in order.

9. Again some light snacks or fruit after two hour and after 4 hours (generally the time when we are back from work) should be taken.

10.   Time and energy permitting a stroll of 20 minutes or Pranayam and Dhyan can be done.

11. Healthy dinner in moderation between 8 and 9 pm is in order. Again if you can include fiber through salad, etc in your dinner, it is good.

11(a) P.S. In case you can replace wheat rotis / Rice with Jowar / Ragi mix rotis for at least Dinner, it would be more beneficial

11. Do not sleep immediately after dinner. At least one hour or more of remaining awake doing something at least sitting (and not plonking on sofa or bed) is a must. even post dinner stroll is good.

12.  We can give rest to our body from physical exercise on one day of the week (better to do so on a weekend). Sometime it could be two days break but preferably that should be avoided.

13.   Most of us love sweets, some of us love drinks and some Non Veg food. We are not Sanyasis to leave all these things and should enjoy them responsibly. Sweets, drinks and non veg should be now taken in limited quantities. For Non veg eaters, red meat should be avoided or reduced drastically and fish, chicken, etc can be substituted.

14   Don't forget to get your blood and urine test done every six months even if yo are perfectly healthy. If you have health issues then the tests, as required, should be done at correct periodicity. Anything doubtful in the test should end with consulting a doctor

15.   Live worry free. Enjoy company of your wife, in few years from now, when your children are on their own, she would be the only company that you will have.

16.   Live life to the full. Laugh often and cry some times. Remember, life is not only worth living, it is worth living enjoying it.

Wish you all a healthy and happy life beyond 50 years of age, DO look after your body and soul and enjoy every day.

Parenting Young Children - The Way I See It

I started this post long ago. I just put the title and somehow did nothing but save the title. Now that I am a little free I thought of completing it.

Do I have the credentials to write it? Maybe. I am not trained in Psychology rather I am an engineer. My Strength for writing this piece comes from the fact that I and my wife parented two children and I have many years experience of mentoring my juniors on this issue(when advice is sought by them) as part of my job as their immediate senior (wondering how come? This is a part of my duty in the organisation I work with). I will touch upon only two points though there could be some more. 

Let me also mention that the views expressed here are mine and no one needs to agree with it.

The first is about the Growth of the Child. A child is an asset of God handed over to us to nurture. It is natural for each parent to strive to give the best that can be provided to the child. But the Best that is provided is the Best in the opinion of Parents and is dictated by the social standing and taste of parents and not by practicality. Affordability is also a factor.

Let me give one or two examples. Not purely hypothetical, parents send their child to a play,  KG or Primary school from say Colaba in Mumbai to Andhari by a (AC) bus. The child travels for about 1.5 to 2 hrs one way. What kind of energy this child would be left by the end of the day is a moot question. Why go that far? Because in the opinion of the Parents, no school in Colaba is fit enough for their Prince / Princess. They want to provide the best to the Child (best as understood by them) but in turn, the child is getting fatigued by this unnecessary travel on a daily basis, which is conveniently overlooked by the Parents in their ZEEL! to provide the best.

Many parents force their children to learn not one, not two, sometimes three or even more things like Synthesizer, Tennis, Singing, etc. They also force their children to take up subjects that the parents desire, not the subjects at which the child is good or has the aptitude.

It is my opinion that the parents in such cases are trying to relive their young age and trying to force their child to get what they could not get as a child. If I have to get a little harsher, making the child achieve what the parent(s) could not achieve in their younger days.  The dream of the child is damned in this whole process. 

How will Tulsidas become Aryabhatta (they are of different ages but I am giving this example to highlight their fields of mastery)? If someone had forced Tulsidas ji to learn astrophysics and become like Aryabhatta, he would have neither become a great Poet nor an Astrophysist of Aryabhatta's repute.

We, the parents are the custodians of the child on behalf of the Almighty (and let's not get into the debate of what that Almighty is called). Have you ever seen a gardener forcing a plant or tree to grow at 90 degrees from its vertical growth? Yes, sometimes it does happen that the plants or trees are forced for some specific purpose but most plants are not. we are gardeners and our task is to nurture the plant called child, provide him warmth, love care and guidance and we should let the child bloom. 

Everyone is gifted naturally in one or the other field. we should let the child grow in the field in which he/she is gifted. We should let the child live his life and not force him to relive our own life and force him to achieve something that we could not in our own lives.

The second point is constantly comparing their own children with other siblings or other children or praising one child to demean the other child. Let me go back to what I said. Every one of us is naturally gifted. even within two children of the family, both may be good at similar subjects or it may be so that one is good at science subjects and the other at humanities.

One may be brilliant the other may be average in studies but remember, the other child would be good at something else. Then why do parents constantly praise one child in front of another and chide children for some (actual or perceived) non-performance in some field where one child is good and other is good in something else.

Why don't the parents understand that no two individuals are made the same by Almighty? We are not the products of a production line, we are handcrafted (thus each item is different from others). Even for items produced through a production line, maybe one after the other, experience indicates that these similar products made on the same production line at nearly at the same time also behave differently. While one operates smoothly the other gives trouble. When there is no uniformity in the performance of items produced in the production line, how are children with distinct personalities, minds and bodies supposed to have the same nature and strength areas? Even to think so is illogical.

I have been a witness to the ill effects of such compassion constantly done by one or both parents (or even by near relatives, grandfather, grandmother, etc). But the examples that I am giving are representative but based on some experience.

One brother is brilliant and the other has been made to feel that he is not good enough so he has become an alcoholic. One sister is a beauty and grace and the other sister is belittled so she ends up doing all wrong. Such a constant act of parents may even result into to not so bright (in parents' opinion) child, when faced with failure, with fear of constant jibs by parents, ending his life. Why do we let our own children reach that despair?

The solution is very simple but I wonder how many would imbibe it. Understand and accept the fact that your offspring may share some virtues and vices of yours but he/she is an individual with own characteristics. Identify his / her strengths areas and weaknesses areas and use the fundamentals of the SWOT technique of management.

In SWOT technique (Duly adapted for this topic), the Strengths areas of the child should be identified and they are leveraged for making the best of the opportunities arising out of the strength area, As for Weaknesses, they are corrected when required such that they don't become Threats to the child's future and if weaknesses of the child not be corrected,  they need to be protected against somebody exploiting them.

As for the child, give him / her enabling environment, and provide necessary support, guidance and protection (where needed), the child would soon become a giant in the field of his / her choosing as he/she grows into adulthood. The mere feeling that whatever happens, you as a parent would always be there to support the child is a good enough nourishment (psychological) for the child to bloom.

Anybody listening?

A Phone Call in time would have Saved a Life

About two weeks ago one of my friend had a tragic event. His young son committed suicide, while being in a collage, in his hostel. The reason as determined by Police was academic pressure.

The boy had been relegated  for poor attendance and it is said that he was yet again on the notice for relegation for poor attendance. I wondered, what could be such a pressure that made the young talented and smart boy to take such a drastic step.

Agree that the boy felt pressurized due to relegation, may be there were sibling comparisons (with another sibling of his) by relatives, may be he felt it impossible to face his parents with the news of yet another impending relegation. The reason that tripped his mind may known to the poor soul who has departed.

It is said that when one is angry he / she should not act immediately, rather count till 100 and then if the anger still persists, may be one can act / react. May be similar (not the same) act would work for restless souls thinking of such a drastic step. That is, that person should give himself / herself about 12 hours to think, rather rethink over his / her situation. Even better is to make a phone call and let out all his / her feelings, accumulated and building up like a pressure cooker whose pressure release is stuck, to parents or one of the parent to whom this person is close. In a pressure cooker when whistle gets stuck, it is the safety valve that saves the day. Statistically, the safety valve has extremely low failure rate and almost always works.

May be the phone call made at such a juncture is that safety valve that blows away pressure and saves the precious life. Even this may fail but chances of failure are extremely low as it also creates a window of diversion for the mind and  helps in rationalizing the thoughts.

If only the child had made a phone call and talked to some one about his predicament, may be a life would have got saved. 

Can We do this for People Around Us

Let me start with a disclaimer. Whatever I write is with a view to bring out a way in which we can help people secure their future around us and not to canvass about the schemes of the Union government about which I would talk in this post. I must admit though that in my personal opinion, I find them very good.

We, the people having good houses to live and reasonable (as per individual scale because what is reasonable income for me may not be reasonable for an industrialist) income every month are very fortunate people and fall in top few percent people in this country. We have capacity and knowledge to subscribe to various insurance schemes, pension schemes and also insurance cum pension schemes.

But we do have around us, many people who serve us dutifully and sincerely, Dhobis, Watchmen, Gardeners, Street vendors, delivery boys and such umpteen other people who neither have knowledge nor financial might to afford such schemes.

One thing is almost assured. All of them have a bank account, regular one or 'Jan Dhan Yojana' one. Also all of them are likely to have Aadhar card.

If we all advice two to three individuals (forgot the Kam wali in previous paragraph) to subscribe to the recently launched govt schemes for Accident insurance, Life Insurance and Pension, rather, get after them till they do so, we are going to do a great service to human beings around us without spending a paisa from our pocket.

Let us see the schemes (required because it is us who will have to provide information about these schemes to them).

In the Accident insurance scheme called Pradhan Mantri (and not named after an individual) Suraksha Beema Yojana (Prime Ministers Security Insurance Scheme) which has been launched recently, an individual authorizes his bank to auto debit Rs 12 per year to subscribe to this scheme. The person also gives name of a nominee. In the event of accident the person's nominee gets Rs Two Lakh on death. On disability due to accident there are differential rates of payment.

The biggest risk that Auto Drivers, Rickshaw Pullers, Cyclists, etc face is road accident and thus far they are cover less against accident and most are the sole bread earners for the family. Subscription of Rs 12 per year will give a Rs Two Lakh cover to the individual. Details of the scheme can be read on internet (including http://www.mapsofindia.com/my-india/government/pradhan-mantri-suraksha-bima-yojana-pmsby-an-accidental-insurance-scheme).

In yet another scheme launched on very same day called Prashan Mantri Jeevan Jyoti Beema Yojana (a Life insurance scheme), a subscription of Rs 330 per year will get the insured person a life cover of RsTwo Lakh  in event of death under any eventuality. The process is similar and is completed with the help of individual's bankers. Some details can be read at http://www.mapsofindia.com/my-india/india/pradhan-mantri-jeevan-jyoti-bima-yojana-ensuring-your-future.

These two schemes costing Rs 342 per year would provide an insurance cover of Four lakh in case of death of insured or two lakh or part thereof in case of an accident resulting in disability. What better security a family can have. I would not like to get in to a debate on value of two lakh or four lakh today or ten years hence. Remember these persons are cover less at the moment and the assurance they have today is Rs ZERO (immortal figure which will have the same value after hundreds of years), in there case, some cover is better than none. In a thirty year span, an individual would have paid just Rs 9860 to acquire this cover.

Another important scheme is Atal Pension Yojana. The eligibility is age between 20 and 40 year. Presuming that a 30 year old person wants Rs 5000 PM pension after the age of 60, the person has to pay Rs 577 pm for 10 years that comes to just Rs 69240 in that period. He would have nearly recovered the invested money in first year of pension itself. some details are at http://www.mapsofindia.com/my-india/government/atal-pension-yojana-for-social-security-in-india.

Again I would not get in to debate of this amount would become double in seven or eight years if invested etc. If these people could invest and had that kind of spare money, they would have done so.

My objective of writing this blog is to bring to the notice of my friends and readers these schemes and request them to educate one or two people around them who are less fortunate than us. This will serve two purpose, one these people can avail them and provide some security to themselves and to the future of their families and second, we get to serve humanity without spending any money (just spend some talk and little time to talk).

As for me, I could motivate three or four people (partially, some took one scheme, some two and one odd all three) to subscribe to one or more schemes.

New Look to my Blog - Searchability by Category - WIP

Finally I have been able to give page functionality to my blog. Now my posts can be accessed by clicking the menus on the top.

I have learnt the technique but it is still the Work in Progress. That means full category buttons are yet to be done as also categorization of all old posts are not complete. Be rest assured, it will happen soon.

See the screen grab below:-

Realisation in the Morning

In our lifetime we gather many life experiences. By the time we finish school, we learn that life is beautiful and such life should not be wasted in keeping negative thoughts and disappointments in mind..

Some of us can implement this practice in life fully, some partially and some just can't. With time many forget the good habit.

And then one day you are suddenly reminded of this important facet of life, This experience also came to me recently. Few days ago I was at Goa and staying at Bagmalo Beach Resort. On the day of my return flight I did not have time to swim in the morning. I decided to take a stroll on Bagmalo beach.

Walking on the beach on the cusp where the beach and the wave meet, it was fascinating to watch own foot prints on the wet sand when I looked back. It was kind of cute. As I saw my foot prints, the next wave came, submerged the foot prints and wiped them off from the sand. I felt angry on the waves.

But suddenly the life lesson dawned on me. Let us consider the wet beach be our mind. The foot print being the imprint or impact of an event, good or bad, on it. What do the waves then become for our mind? Waves are like the next moment in our life, bringing in fresh thoughts, drenching our minds and wiping out the imprint of the previous event, good or bad, but definitely the bad.

For some of us, next moment may feel little too much of analogy but that is not important, This thought  teaches us an important thing in life, to let go of disappointments as early as possible. In fact that is the key to happiness, 'let go'.

Naysayers (who do not agree with me) may say, well, good thought, but if the imprint is deep and if it is not on the wet area of the beach, it does not get wiped out with each wave. A human being also may have such deep imprint of an event, in an area that can not be wiped out by next wave.

Do I have an answer to that? yes. When the High tide comes on the beach twice in 24 hrs, most of the beach is washed by the waves and the imprints go. The deeper imprints must also go from our minds at a fixed interval by the process of sleep every night like the high tide. In any case, every thing in life has an expiry date, why not imprints of the events particularly bad one have an expiry date. Why let them keep in the mind  to rot and stink our mind.

Such a simple life lesson was reinforced by a glorious morning on a beach in Goa by beautiful waves awash on the beach. No doubt the saying that all good things in life is free is an absolute truth,